HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CHANGE?
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How do you feel about change?
What can I expect and what should I do?
It won’t all be plain sailing, be ready for times when you begin to doubt the reason for the change. You are likely to experience a roller coaster of emotions, being excited is just one of them.
Your positive response to change will likely not be felt by everyone else around you. It could feel like you are the only one who can see the benefits and therefore wonder why you are alone.
Change is the only way we get better or achieve different results, because of your excitement to experience change you are likely to get the best results, opening doors to even better next steps.
Being excited is a great state to be in but be aware once our senses are heightened with an emotion, we can easily get sidetracked by the next new exciting thing. Particularly if you are the kind of person who is always looking for new interesting projects. You will need to stick to this one even when the excitement has worn off.
No one can stay in a permanent state of excitement, even if we really want to. Be prepared for the coming back down to earth feeling. This can happen at any stage of the change process you are going through. Rediscover the other natural emotions that happen when something changes, and then reflect on how they help you stay grounded.
Now you have experienced this new thing, achieved the vision, you may feel like it was an anticlimax. Once you have celebrated, you will need to focus on the next thing, this is a great time to gather ideas and support in finding what’s next for you.
Are you still feeling excited, or have those feelings been replaced by something else? The process of change creates many different emotions at different stages. Be ok with how you feel at each stage and then be ready for the next step.
Review previous experiences with change and consider which areas you felt more and less comfortable with. What parts get you really excited and what parts are more challenging? Keeping the memory of the positive feelings well help you manage the down times easier.
Now you have moved from one place to another it’s time to look for the next thing. A great way to measure success is to check how far you’ve come along your journey.
When you have gained momentum through change it’s a great time to make plans for the next thing. We naturally feel a sense of slowing down when we get close to our end goal. To keep the excitement going, start to plan the next steps before you finish the current goal, this way you keep moving forward.
Being able to manage yourself through change is a talent that not everyone has. Have you noticed others around you struggle with the change, or maybe get stuck in a negative state? You could be in a great position to support someone through a challenging time.
What do you already know about the Change Curve and what more you can learn? Just because you have experienced the process of change doesn’t mean you have understood it. Being able to recognize each stage will enable you to manage the next change even more effectively and also support others through it.
Feeling stuck means you that you have some resistance to the change that is coming up. Uncover where this comes from, usually the sources are fear, lack of understanding or apathy. Understanding which helps to identify the next cause of action.
The only way to beat resistance is to take action and create momentum. The action can be a small, seemingly insignificant one, but all action is progress.
Resistance sometimes kicks when we are right on the brink of getting what we desire, the fear of achievement can sometimes stop us taking that finial move. Once taken, you really can see great results.
The feeling of being stuck can come from analysis paralysis. If you are finding it hard to make the “right” choice, you should seek council of someone who can help you see things from a different perspective. The fear of doing the wrong thing can prevent us from doing anything, so don’t let decision making prevent action.
Does it feel like you are walking through treacle, or taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back? There could be a number of reasons for losing momentum, from fear to burn out, to lack of skills or knowledge. Take some time out to review what is holding you up, discuss what is coming up for you and why, then make a plan of action to get the ball rolling again.
If you feel like you are on a merry-go-round and can’t get off, it’s likely that you are stuck in the self-fulling prophecy of denial. You may be using past experiences to recreate a negative story for yourself. Saying your concerns out loud will help to see them more clearly for what they really are. Then you can make a break from the cycle.
Consider each and every step you took. Moving from a position of stuck to movement is an achievement in itself. Don’t be concerned with the amount of time it takes, focus on the steps you have taken and then what’s next.
It’s easy to get held back in the past, one of the challenges with getting stuck is being held back by living in the past. Take time to consider where you are right now and where you need to get to, maintain the momentum of movement.
What came up through the process of change? What is giving you energy right now and what is draining you? Is there something or someone who is a source of encouragement? Success will be continued by being in the right head space.
Resistance often comes through a lack of understanding of the benefits of doing something different. If the change has been enforced by someone or something you should find out why this new situation is important. How will you or others benefit from it and what difference will it make?
We all need support from time to time, when you are struggling to get moving, regardless of why the change has come about, finding a support mechanism will help you feel better and start to move you forward. This could look like a great friend, a support group or coach.
If you are stuck it is likely there are only 1 or 2 things that are causing the problem. It may feel like everything is going wrong or working against you, but in reality, once you uncover the main issue and deal with that, you will be able to make progress. Taking focused small actions will get you moving.
Fear is our natural response to protect us from something, often that something is not as bad at the story we have in our heads. By overcoming the fear you may be pleasantly surprised at how much it doesn’t scare you anymore.
Stepping into your fear is one sure way of moving forward. The great thing about dealing with fear, is that it no longer haunts you or holds you back for future.
Change evokes many feelings and fear is just one of them. Once you have moved beyond fear, you may also experience resentment and resistance. You will also experience curiosity, excitement and achievement, allow yourself to have all the feels.
The first step is always the hardest. Our fight, flight and freeze response is our brains way of protecting us from danger. So sometimes if you are feeling fear you should listen, however, more often than not, our response is unwarranted. Talking through our fear with a trusted person helps to make sense of it and gives us courage to take that first step.
Fear can trigger many different emotions for us, and often they can seem to be exaggerated and out of proportion to the situation. This could suggest you have some baggage from your past that is being activated. Discussing your feelings around the situation will help to uncover what is really going on in your unconscious mind and then work to release the emotion around it.
Fear can stop us in our tracks at any point, and sometimes we don’t recognize it as fear. We may mistake it for exhaustion or disinterest. Find someone you trust to help you dig deep to really understand what is stopping you from taking action.
You have moved through fear to get to this point, reflect back on how you felt stepping into this change and congratulate yourself for taking the steps to get this far. You have now stretched your comfort zone into an area where you would not have previously gone. What else are you able to do now?
Consciously connect with the language you now use. Previously you may have said, “I can’t” “I’m not able” and now hear yourself say “I did this” “when I do that”. The use of positive language will keep you moving forward and also demonstrates to others that you are capable of achieving great things.
Working through fear increases adrenaline which allows us to take even more productive steps forward. Fear and excitement trigger the same feelings and once we have reframed them, we can continue to use that same feeling to continue working toward our goals.
A lot of fear is built from a story line we have created in our unconscious mind. Often the fear has come from something unrelated and somehow has morphed into a feeling of lack of control which stops you taking action in a direction you need to go in. Uncover the storyline and you will be able to name the fear to face it.
When have you faced your fears before and still taken action? How did you overcome the feelings, and what did you do afterwards? Being able to pull on your past successes will give you encouragement to continue facing the challenges that will no doubt come along in the future.
Facing the unknown is one of the biggest causes of fear. During change we often don’t know what’s ahead and that can trigger fearful emotions. If you get a clear picture of what is going to happen and what you should expect it can help to alleviate some of the fear. Ask questions and be curious to find out as much as possible.