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Resistance is lack of Rapport...

... PING!

How was your month? How many Lightbulb Moments did you get to experience? I'd like to share my biggest one with you.

Love is in the air, and I'm not known to be overtly emotional, but recently I've been tested. I had to provide someone with a lot emotional support and then found myself having to reach out for support, as a result. So it got me thinking, how do we build relationships to stand the test of change?

Relationships are a two-way engagement. Both of you need something from the other person. The best relationships are when each person is mutually supportive and respectful to the other. Why then, do we sometimes feel like there is resistance or push back from the other person?

My feeling is that for some reason you are out of rapport and this could be due to:

  • Having different viewpoints,

  • Contradictory visions for the future,

  • Mismatching value set or

  • Feelings of vulnerability

How can we fix these?

First, try to appreciate the viewpoint of the other person by asking for their perspective, often these conversations increase understanding on both sides. Your reality of the situation could be witnessed in a very different way to someone else’s. Ask questions for clarification, “tell me what you just saw, heard, felt?” “Describe the situation from your point of view?” This doesn’t mean you have to agree, or make them agree with you, but understanding goes a long way in building greater relationships.

Also, successful businesses, and families, work toward a shared vision, they all row in the same direction, even though they could be looking at the end goal as different places. The important thing is that the vision can be seen by everyone involved and they can find their path and move towards it together. Shared success is a great way to build deeper relationships.

There's a skill in creating relationships with others whose values are in conflict with yours. The key is that you don’t have to agree with them but recognize that they are entitled to a difference of opinion and this will help you understand their point of view.

Being in a relationship is not about having power over someone, it’s about creating an environment where people feel safe and empowered to be the best version of themselves. Working in harmony will bring out the best of both of you.

In addition, build rapport by being authentic with your words, tone and body language, and watch how other people are responding to you, if you have similar body language and use the same phrases, you will find an instant connection. People like people they can relate to, finding common ground in one place allows you to feel connected and less resistant to challenge.

Remember, it is about creating space for others to get to know and understand you, as well as you them, then you can support each other when you need it most.


Thanks for reading, I hope this has given you some things to think about and you have some of your own Lightbulb Moments.

I'd love to hear about them.

If you would like some help experiencing them, I'd love to help.

Please share this with anyone you know who loves experiencing Lightbulb Moments.

Enjoy the Ping!

Viki Johnston


Viki Johnston, a Brit who has recently moved to Southern California with her family, is a self-confessed learning junkie. Having flunked out of school at 17, she spent the next 30 (cough) years trying to figure out why learning stuff is so hard. She made it her mission to help others believe in their abilities and achieve more than they thought possible. Now through her coaching and business focused training she helps others to experience the "light bulb moment" and strive to greatness.
Her heroes are Sir Richard Branson and Brené Brown for their inspiration, and her Husband, whom without she would never have been able to live a life full of her own "light bulb moments".


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